I originally posted this on a defunct blog I used to post on. No one has ever read it to my knowledge. One of the things I tend to geek out on is astronomy. I felt very strongly about Pluto and the argument as to its classification as a planet. I composed this after the decision to remove that classification. Enjoy!
Originally posted Sept 3, 2006
My Brief Remarks On The Fate Of Pluto
In March of 1985, I got sick. I had a severe case of the chicken pox. I was out of commission for two weeks. Over that period, I watched a lot of television. One program I watched over that period changed my life. It was a broadcast of Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Not long after, CBS aired a five-part mini series based on James Michener’s novel “Space’ and then I was hooked. If it involved anything outside of our atmosphere, I wanted to know about it. I studied the stars, the planets, you name it. In June of 1985 my dad bought me a telescope, and armed with a stargazer’s book I had checked out from the library, and the current World Almanac (which contained astronomical data), I was off and running. We put the telescope together, and as dusk settled, the first point of light we set our sights upon turned out to be Saturn. How glorious it was to see the disk and those beautiful rings with my own eyes. I spent nearly every night that summer out in my grandmother’s front yard with my star book and my almanac waiting for other planets to rise in the east. I was obsessed with Jupiter, which would rise just after midnight. I waited patiently, stalking it, waiting for it to appear above the treetops. Meanwhile, gazing around and studying the surrounding stars and constellations. I learned about mythology and how it related to how the ancients studied the skies. Scorpious with the prominent red giant Antares, and Sagitarius were among my early favorites. To the north, I learned Draco, Andromeda, Cepheus, Perseus, and others. Man, what a wonderful summer that was. Is it any wonder why I consider 1985 to be the best musical year? I was so free and happy that summer, and astronomy was the biggest factor in that happiness.
Years went by and the intensity of my interest leveled off. Halley’s Comet in 1985-86 was probably the last great telescopic obsession I had. From there on it was sporadic. Mars at opposition is spectacular. Comet Schumaker-Levy 9 and its dramatic plunge into Jupiter (which inspired the Cure song “Jupiter Crash”) various comets. Over the years I got to know the stars and planets rather intimately. The only one I was never able to see was Neptune. However, no matter how little time I’ve spent with the telescope over the last 15 years, my interest in astronomy never faded. I still to this day consider myself a member of that enormous army known as amateur astronomers.
Let me put my love for astronomy this way: I spent a good part of 1985 studying the planets and learning the names and locations of stars and constellations. These almost became friends. This is a friendship that will last a lifetime. I can go outside on any given night and see something I recognize. I can greet that something, whether it be a star or a planet, by name. These friends will never leave me. It’s a lifelong relationship. There is something very comforting in that to me. And though they are constantly moving (on a scale humans could never comprehend) they’ve been this way since ancient times, and will be this way for at least my lifetime. It is what it is, and that’s always what it will be.
So imagine my horror upon discovering that the IAU (International Astronomy Union) is considering creating a definition of the word “planet” to for once and for all end the debate as to what is and what is not a planet. Since I’ve been alive there have been 9 planets. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Once I got into advanced studies of astronomy and learned of the Pluto Debate (is it a planet or not?) I have fallen into the it’s not a planet camp, and it is a large camp, and the subject of much debate over the years. Nobody has ever clearly defined what makes a planet a planet. As the debate has drawn to a close, those in my camp began to feel that it was a matter of time before the IAU came to its senses and set the Solar System back to its true planetary population of eight. But nooooooo!!! The debate raged on, and recently, a rather large faction of astronomers proposed the following guidelines to define “planet”:
1) Object must be round
2) Object must be larger than 480 miles in diameter
3) Object must orbit the sun or another star
What? This means that not only would Pluto’s status as a planet be guaranteed, but so would its moon, Charon, which has a diameter of 737 miles. You’re thinking, “but it’s a moon, right?” Well, Pluto and Charon revolve around each other, with neither dominating the other, so it would be classified as a “double planet”, as well as a “pluton”, which is classified as a planet which takes more than 200 years to orbit the sun. Also, Ceres, which is the largest object in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and has a diameter of 592 miles, would be a planet. UB313, nicknamed Xena by its discoverer (fortunately only the IAU can name celestial bodies) with a diameter of approximately 1500 miles, and is beyond the orbit of Pluto, would be the 12th planet and the 3rd pluton. Amazing. Astronomers say that within a few years, based on objects discovered in recent years in the far reaches of the solar system, we could have as many as 53 planets in our extended solar family. Ridiculous. This all sounds so politically correct. Don’t discriminate and let everyone be a planet. I’m so worked up over this I’ve come up with a solution of my own.
In order to define the word “planet”, here’s my proposal: The classic planets of the ancients get a free pass. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. Obviously the two gas giants discovered since, Uranus and Neptune also qualify. That’s eight total. So here’s the important part of the rule: If another planet in your solar system has a moon that is larger than your planet, then you don’t get to be a planet. Ever. Jupiter’s moon Ganymede and Saturn’s moon Titan are both larger than Mercury, but Mercury was known to the ancients so it gets a pass. Call it a grandfather clause. Everything else in the Solar System, sorry. You’re not planets. Sorry, Pluto. You never should have been given that status in the first place. Ceres? Largest remnant of whatever used to lie, or whatever failed to form between Mars and Jupiter. No, sorry, application denied. Charon? You may be Pluto’s companion, but you’re no planet. You’re not even a moon. I’ve studied the Moon, I know the Moon. The Moon is a friend of mine. Charon, you are no Moon. All these other bodies they’ve discovered out past the orbit of Pluto? Please. Planets? Kuiper Belt objects at best. Perhaps someday a body will be discovered that is another gas giant, or even a rocky body that is Mars sized or larger. That would be the 9th planet, or Planet X.
So how does this all end? The IAU held its vote, and apparently took my advice. All this nonsense about planets being round and orbity is gone and Pluto is no longer a planet. It is now considered a dwarf planet. So there are officially 8 planets. Hallelujah! Common sense has prevailed. Some people are upset and are actually considering legal action to get the ruling overturned. (okay, maybe not, but it wouldn’t surprise me) I heard on the radio the day the vote was announced, some freak from some astrological society say that this was bogus because people who were scorpios would lose their ruling planet or some garbage like that. Let me ask you this, freak: What about before Pluto was discovered? Just go use your pre-1930 charts or something. Or break the bad news that your scorpio friends are now ruled by a dwarf planet. Deal with it. Incidently, I hate people who confuse the words astronomy and astrology, but that’s another topic altogether. Other people who are upset and opposed to this are just nostalgia freaks who like the idea of a planet named Pluto. Several blogs I’ve read decry how history has been rewritten and only God can decide what’s a planet blah blah blah. Hey freaks, no one knew this existed until 1930. Life will go on. It’s not like Pluto has ceased to exist. Even Ceres, the asteroid belt object mentioned above, was once a planet before being demoted and no one cared.
Even the widow of Pluto’s discoverer Clyde Tombaugh, Patricia, said she was “not heartbroken, but shook up” over the news, said that Clyde “was a scientist. He would understand they had a real problem when they start finding several of these things flying around the place.” My favorite quote of hers was about when Mr. Tombaugh made the discovery. “Clyde said, ‘well, it’s there. You can do what you want with it.” This does not diminish the accomplishment of Clyde Tombaugh, whom I now hold in even higher regard than before. It is still a remarkable achievement.
So I feel better about the whole thing, though much like recent American Presidential elections, I feel that this one ain’t over yet. More to come, but for now, 8 is definitely enough!
Years went by and the intensity of my interest leveled off. Halley’s Comet in 1985-86 was probably the last great telescopic obsession I had. From there on it was sporadic. Mars at opposition is spectacular. Comet Schumaker-Levy 9 and its dramatic plunge into Jupiter (which inspired the Cure song “Jupiter Crash”) various comets. Over the years I got to know the stars and planets rather intimately. The only one I was never able to see was Neptune. However, no matter how little time I’ve spent with the telescope over the last 15 years, my interest in astronomy never faded. I still to this day consider myself a member of that enormous army known as amateur astronomers.
Let me put my love for astronomy this way: I spent a good part of 1985 studying the planets and learning the names and locations of stars and constellations. These almost became friends. This is a friendship that will last a lifetime. I can go outside on any given night and see something I recognize. I can greet that something, whether it be a star or a planet, by name. These friends will never leave me. It’s a lifelong relationship. There is something very comforting in that to me. And though they are constantly moving (on a scale humans could never comprehend) they’ve been this way since ancient times, and will be this way for at least my lifetime. It is what it is, and that’s always what it will be.
So imagine my horror upon discovering that the IAU (International Astronomy Union) is considering creating a definition of the word “planet” to for once and for all end the debate as to what is and what is not a planet. Since I’ve been alive there have been 9 planets. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Once I got into advanced studies of astronomy and learned of the Pluto Debate (is it a planet or not?) I have fallen into the it’s not a planet camp, and it is a large camp, and the subject of much debate over the years. Nobody has ever clearly defined what makes a planet a planet. As the debate has drawn to a close, those in my camp began to feel that it was a matter of time before the IAU came to its senses and set the Solar System back to its true planetary population of eight. But nooooooo!!! The debate raged on, and recently, a rather large faction of astronomers proposed the following guidelines to define “planet”:
1) Object must be round
2) Object must be larger than 480 miles in diameter
3) Object must orbit the sun or another star
What? This means that not only would Pluto’s status as a planet be guaranteed, but so would its moon, Charon, which has a diameter of 737 miles. You’re thinking, “but it’s a moon, right?” Well, Pluto and Charon revolve around each other, with neither dominating the other, so it would be classified as a “double planet”, as well as a “pluton”, which is classified as a planet which takes more than 200 years to orbit the sun. Also, Ceres, which is the largest object in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and has a diameter of 592 miles, would be a planet. UB313, nicknamed Xena by its discoverer (fortunately only the IAU can name celestial bodies) with a diameter of approximately 1500 miles, and is beyond the orbit of Pluto, would be the 12th planet and the 3rd pluton. Amazing. Astronomers say that within a few years, based on objects discovered in recent years in the far reaches of the solar system, we could have as many as 53 planets in our extended solar family. Ridiculous. This all sounds so politically correct. Don’t discriminate and let everyone be a planet. I’m so worked up over this I’ve come up with a solution of my own.
In order to define the word “planet”, here’s my proposal: The classic planets of the ancients get a free pass. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. Obviously the two gas giants discovered since, Uranus and Neptune also qualify. That’s eight total. So here’s the important part of the rule: If another planet in your solar system has a moon that is larger than your planet, then you don’t get to be a planet. Ever. Jupiter’s moon Ganymede and Saturn’s moon Titan are both larger than Mercury, but Mercury was known to the ancients so it gets a pass. Call it a grandfather clause. Everything else in the Solar System, sorry. You’re not planets. Sorry, Pluto. You never should have been given that status in the first place. Ceres? Largest remnant of whatever used to lie, or whatever failed to form between Mars and Jupiter. No, sorry, application denied. Charon? You may be Pluto’s companion, but you’re no planet. You’re not even a moon. I’ve studied the Moon, I know the Moon. The Moon is a friend of mine. Charon, you are no Moon. All these other bodies they’ve discovered out past the orbit of Pluto? Please. Planets? Kuiper Belt objects at best. Perhaps someday a body will be discovered that is another gas giant, or even a rocky body that is Mars sized or larger. That would be the 9th planet, or Planet X.
So how does this all end? The IAU held its vote, and apparently took my advice. All this nonsense about planets being round and orbity is gone and Pluto is no longer a planet. It is now considered a dwarf planet. So there are officially 8 planets. Hallelujah! Common sense has prevailed. Some people are upset and are actually considering legal action to get the ruling overturned. (okay, maybe not, but it wouldn’t surprise me) I heard on the radio the day the vote was announced, some freak from some astrological society say that this was bogus because people who were scorpios would lose their ruling planet or some garbage like that. Let me ask you this, freak: What about before Pluto was discovered? Just go use your pre-1930 charts or something. Or break the bad news that your scorpio friends are now ruled by a dwarf planet. Deal with it. Incidently, I hate people who confuse the words astronomy and astrology, but that’s another topic altogether. Other people who are upset and opposed to this are just nostalgia freaks who like the idea of a planet named Pluto. Several blogs I’ve read decry how history has been rewritten and only God can decide what’s a planet blah blah blah. Hey freaks, no one knew this existed until 1930. Life will go on. It’s not like Pluto has ceased to exist. Even Ceres, the asteroid belt object mentioned above, was once a planet before being demoted and no one cared.
Even the widow of Pluto’s discoverer Clyde Tombaugh, Patricia, said she was “not heartbroken, but shook up” over the news, said that Clyde “was a scientist. He would understand they had a real problem when they start finding several of these things flying around the place.” My favorite quote of hers was about when Mr. Tombaugh made the discovery. “Clyde said, ‘well, it’s there. You can do what you want with it.” This does not diminish the accomplishment of Clyde Tombaugh, whom I now hold in even higher regard than before. It is still a remarkable achievement.
So I feel better about the whole thing, though much like recent American Presidential elections, I feel that this one ain’t over yet. More to come, but for now, 8 is definitely enough!
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