Unions: The Tea Parties of the Left, Except The Hate Is Real

Man, I hate unions. And as I watch what is going on in Wisconsin, it just cements my feelings and positions about them. Disgusting thugs. And as someone who was an actual, bonafide union member for eight years, I'm qualified to make such a statement. As an employee of Hughes Family Markets, unfortunately a defunct grocery chain, I was a member of the United Food and Commercial Workers local 1167.

Let me tell you about my experience.

I was 18 when I first started working for Hughes. Seemed like a good place to work. Friendly, engaging coworkers. Flexible scheduling, etc. Oh, and some nice benefits because now I was told I was a union employee. Sweet! All I have to do is pay dues out of every paycheck. No sweat. What's $35 a month when you're making $4.25 an hour? I remember having to go to the emergency room a couple of times, and the copay was covered. That was nice. Eye exam? Well, I got a check for $100 to cover that. Awesome! I just went about my business being a late-teenager, not a care in the world. Life was great. Then we had our first union meeting at the store and everything changed.

Charlie was our rep. I don't remember too much about her, to be honest. I had heard things varying from how awesome she was, to that she really didn't care about the workers, it was more about taking care of The Union than the individual. Different philosophies, but I was naive and open minded. So we sit down to have this meeting, and here is Charlie, representing us, the workers, and our store management staff along with some "big wigs" from home office. It was very cordial, and I don't even really remember what the topics discussed were.

Then, after the nice meeting, the "big wigs" left us to discuss the meeting with Charlie. That's when it got scary. She starts berating us, saying things like "don't ever trust the Suits!" "The Suits do not have your interests at heart!" "The Suits! The Suits!" Holy crap, it scared me! I thought we were all getting along! Suddenly this nice woman was screaming about how we should NEVER trust anything our management said to us. It was all lies and they just intend to take our jobs, our benefits and our RIGHTS!! It really made an impression, and not a good one.

Then, I started to notice something weird. Around 1992, the Union newsletter I received had its entire cover dedicated to what political candidates and issues we should vote for if we wanted to protect our jobs. I was being told to vote for people like Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer. I was being told to vote for people like Kathleen "I Have A Plan For California" Brown. I was being told to vote "no" on state ballot issues like Prop 187. And then I realized that Union money, my dues, were going toward supporting candidates and political organizations that I did not necessarily support. I had absolutely no say in the matter. I was and remain appalled.

So when I was laid off (both times) I contacted my Union rep to see what they could do for me to get me placed with another company, or anything. The answer? Nothing. The last time I spoke with him he said said that he'd make some calls, but I never heard back from him.

(At this time I should mention that Charlie was not our rep for much longer after that meeting. The rep who replaced her was some mealy looking guy who's apparent mission in life was to come into the stores and hand out ball point pens to the employees. I still have at least one of these pens as a testament to my life as a Union member. This rep split in 1996, and the guy I spoke with after the layoff was someone different.)

So, given that what I've learned over the years, Unions sound a lot like Communism as I learned it. Everyone pays into it, but you get no say in the outcome, and you are frowned upon if you even think about dissent. Nice. Perhaps this is why in nearly every struggle I've witnessed where a union is involved, I tend to side with whoever they are against. Baseball, or any other sport? I'm with the owners. Grocery strike which took place in 2004? I proudly crossed those picket lines to support those stores.

Which leads us to Wisconsin.

These protests are outrageous! The benefits these people get compared to the average worker is embarrassing, and they should be embarrassed to try to put forth the view that this is somehow oppressive. These benefits and pensions (which were collectively bargained) are KILLING these states, but the union thugs don't care. They only care about what's good for them. So, to somehow try to say that Governor Walker is some sort of Hitleresque dictator is ridiculous. (this includes a Keith Olbermann "tweet" but I'm not going there today)

And while we're at it, let's talk about these protests. I find it to be ridiculously embarrassing that these teachers are behaving the way they are. There are numerous videos out showing the hateful signs displaying rhetoric that was once used to show that the conservative Tea Party movement to be racist. Also, what happened to the whole call for civility after the shooting of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords last month? I guess it's okay if liberals are the ones making the charges. What really pisses me off about these protests were the teachers who pulled their kids out of class to attend the protests. If I was a parent, I'd be livid! What right do they have to take my child out of the classroom. What's really infuriating is that these kids are clueless as to why they were taken out of class in the first place! These irresponsible acts by these so-called educators make me feel they should not be teaching children, period. Then, you get these "doctors" who were standing on the sidewalks handing out fake sick notes for the teachers so they would have an excuse to not be teaching. I mean, what a way to prove that you deserve your job, let alone your ridiculously lavish benefits. This is why unions piss me off. And they want to argue that the other side won't allow them to negotiate in good faith. Please. Because you're doing a bang-up job of showing how rational and civil you can be.

And the Democratic legislators? What a bunch of cowards! These people were voted in to represent the people of Wisconsin. You know what? There are more of them than there are of you. That's how elections work. That's what Republicans were told by Obama after he won the election, right? The people spoke. But now that some legislation appears that you don't like? Run away. That's the democratic way. I hope they all get voted out next cycle. And just like Texas last decade, it's always the Dems that use this tactic. The media is complicit in how it is reporting this, and you just know that if the rolls were reversed, there would be calls for arrests, recalls and impeachments and so forth. Jackasses.

Polling shows that most people, depending on your poll of choice, voters or likely voters, have more support for Governor Walker than the unions. So I just hope that the Governor and the Republican senators stick to their guns on this one. And when any of the pundits suggest that this issue will lead to the eventual removal of Republicans in the state houses and even to a Democratic resurgence in 2012, I have to say, knowing that most of the people I know (most of whom are non-union) do not support union causes and most certainly will not be a part of some uprising in support of them.

So, do I feel that all unions are bad? Of course not. But by and large, they are as corrupt as organizations as they claim the Big Bad Corporations to be. And the one question I will raise to anyone who supports unions and their millions of dollars in donations to political causes and candidates from the dues they collect is this: If you support this, then you have no issue with the Supreme Court's Citizens United decision, right? After all, it's all freedom of speech, right? If you want to limit anyone's ability to support who they choose with their money, then it should work both ways.

According to Bob Chanin, recently retired general counsel to the National Education Association, "Despite what some among us would like to believe it is not because of our creative ideas. It is not because of the merit of our positions. It is not because we care about children and it is not because we have a vision of a great public school for every child. The NEA and its affiliates are effective advocates because we have power. And we have power because there are more than 3.2 million people who are willing to pay us hundreds of million of dollars in dues each year because they believe that we are the unions that can most effectively represent them; the union that can protect their rights and advance their interests as education employees.”

Exactly. It's about power. He says "advocates" and I say "lobbyists." And I don't believe for one second that these people give a damn about how their members feel about how they are represented. It's all about getting those dues, and it's all about power.

And in Wisconsin, the playing field is about to be leveled.